Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
