i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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