I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
