That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
