you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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