Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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