I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
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She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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