I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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