is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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