the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
