from now on my penis is your penis
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
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Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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