Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
