The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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