Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
we're so committed to being not committed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
