did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
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Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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