I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
handjob tips. give me some.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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