You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
