it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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