Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
