I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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