Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
