Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
