**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
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Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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