she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
