i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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