He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
