I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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