Porn is love you can see.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
