I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
