I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize