my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
