did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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