Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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