Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
