Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
