So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
