I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize