i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize