i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
