yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
