WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i think im in europe. pls send help
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
