Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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