was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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