I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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