I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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