My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
