you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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