I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
