either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
