We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
