When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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