sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
