Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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