i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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