who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
