I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
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Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
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Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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