Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
