I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
