What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
