i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
