We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
